Should I stay or should I go now?

There are certain times of my day, my week, my year...that waves of emotion hit me...It can be a song that brings me back to that one time, or the sight of a certain flower...
Many times...these waves come in the form of missing my Dad. It's been ten years since he passed away. Feels like ten minutes sometimes. A lot of times actually...
Some times I get emotional not having him around - like when we had our babies baptized...or when D will busy himself for an hour working with his tool bench...

Lately, I find it is even more true than usual...I'm in one of those funks...it's an old funk really...familiar to me...
the house funk.
You've heard me talk about it before - we bought our house with the intention of staying there 3, maybe 5 years...make a few bucks on that house and then move up to something we both loved and wanted.
bwahahahahahahahahahahahaaa
Jokes on us ~ housing market! Thanks to those awesome folks around town who walked away from their homes without paying for them...an auto appraisal just came in on our house at 30k less than we bought it for. Nice.

::cry::

Now, there's nothing WRONG with our house, per se...Depending on who you ask...
I mean, we'd love a 3rd stall on our garage - because who wants to be heading up to the shed every time you want to get a bike, a wagon, a stroller, a ________ out to use? Our double garage barely holds two vehicles with room to get out of them, much less anything else...
A coat closet? Well now, that'd be pretty heavenly...but we can do without it I suppose...I mean, we only need coats about 11 months out of the year in Minnesota, so it's not THAT bad...
But there are a few things we'd I'd love to have more than anything else - like, say, a deck that you could actually fit a whole table on with seating for our family of four. Those little bistro tables are sure cute...but - wouldn't it be nice to enjoy a meal as a family out there? There are four of us. Not two.

The kitchen...well, knocking out the wall dividing the kitchen/living spaces would sure open it up and make the space more inviting & usable...and the master bath...well, yeah - that's a post in and of itself.
We've applied for a couple of those HGTV/DIY shows...even got interviewed once by their staff...turns out - an 11x7 bathroom is too small for their camera crews...I told them that people with bathrooms bigger than that don't need their help!
HARUMPF!
Last week we had a home design/build guy out...He all but laughed at what I thought we could do on what money.

I cried.

Really?
Our house is 20 years old. It's a modest family home on a cul de sac, in an average neighborhood, in suburbia Minnesota. It does not, could not, warrant a $100,000 remodel. Well, maybe it could if you remodeled the ENTIRE house. I was talking a couple of rooms and a deck...I don't need cherry cabinets or floors. I want a few more cupboards and some usable space. For a reasonable price.

(Are you laughing at me too?)

My dad was a contractor by trade...He'd know what to do. Even if he couldn't do it himself...(he would be 80 after all) ~ he could come down, help us shop for materials and boss us around while we did most of the work. I can see his strong, wrinkly, very tanned hands cutting the pieces to perfection on his skill saw, even now. I can smell the sawdust. D would be following Grandpa Joe around wearing his own tool belt. Carrying his own hammer. Begging to use the power drill. I know he would. My dad would be patient. And proud.

::wakes up from dream::

But...That's not an option. I did not inherit the family carpentry trait...and while I'm confident my little boy might have, given his love of all things tools...I think the projects I have in mind might be a little bit too big for him at the ripe old age of three. Well, except for the knocking down the walll - that's going to be a family project and I cannot wait! So...options...oh, the options...
I've started looking at new houses...houses that have what we should have been looking for all along...who knew? Not us...I've been looking at new builds, old builds, houses on acreage...oh how I would love acreage...
But then it comes down to this...We are on pace to have this mortgage done and gone by the time our kids are done with HS, if not before... Um, hello...can anyone say WORLD TRAVEL?!? Being mortgage free opens up soo many doors for our family of four.
And my neighbors...(most of them!) We do love our neighbors...With no family around...some of them have become family to us...And while D doesn't have Grandpa Joe to follow around - he has Uncle Denny next door who is pretty good at letting him *help* with projects...

There are some other quirky things l like about our property...like the shrubs I planted the year we were married...the evergreen we planted the year H was born...the row of evergreens we planted the year D was born...As much as I hate the compacted soil and goofy slopes, I also sort of love them...it makes our house our home...it's not a wide open treeless lot in a new development where I wouldn't in my lifetime see big tall established trees...

So now what?
Should we stay or should we go now...If I go there will be trouble...If I stay it will be double?

Well, we have another remodeling company coming out tonight...
This guy told me that he could most likely do my entire house for 100k. I'm tempted to let him! (Don't tell my husband that though!)
I am trying to keep my chin up...it could be worse...so many people are worse off than we are...
but is it really THIS hard...and THIS expensive...to make a few somewhat minor/somewhat major adjustments to our current home?
I'm a big believer in the ** do it now...let's not wait ** motto...
I mean, if we have to remodel the bathroom to sell the place - why do it just for the new home owners to enjoy? Shouldn't we be doing it sooner rather than later and enjoying it as much as we can?

::sigh::

Do you know a great contractor with even *greater* rates?
Now's the time to delurk!

Should we stay or should we go now...If I go there will be trouble...If I stay it will be double?